Are you sure you want more control?

Most people I talk to are looking for a greater sense of control in their lives!


Yes, they tell me…’because I feel like I never have enough time and things just seem to be running me – and I want to feel like I’m the one in the driver’s seat calling the shots.’

And that’s fine…

We all want to feel like we’re running the show…and not the other way around.

But is it control that you really want?

Because once we dig a little deeper, we often discover they’re only seeking control as way to ‘manage’ what’s going on in their lives, so they can avoid the pressures they perceive they’re facing.

But what they REALLY want is to feel wildly out-of-control with boundless excitement for whatever it is they’re truly passionate about!

Let me explain…

When life’s feeling ‘busy’, or ‘full’ and the pressures just keep accumulating, of course all you want is a more control!

But when life feels inspiring and exciting – like a fast-paced adventure – the last thing you want is to feel in-control because what you really want is to let go and enjoy the ride so you can make the absolute most of it!

So, what if instead of searching for control, you decided to find your ultimate excitement instead!

So how can I do that?

Finding your excitement really has nothing to do with being in-control and instead means tapping into more of what truly inspires you versus managing what’s already on your plate.

And believe it or not, that might mean ‘winging it’ for a while  – versus playing it safe – which is an entirely new skill-set for most grown-up’s, even though this was our main thing as kids.

‘But I have responsibilities now…and there’s no time for ‘fun!’

But what if fun was the missing ingredient, and was the very thing which would allow you to leverage more of your creativity and resourcefulness?

As kids this meant doing things like climbing trees, or making mud pies, or sneaking off to to explore somewhere you weren’t meant to be …

But the good news is that as adults our ‘fun’ is in the same place where our true fulfilment lies!

Which means the trick is to figure out what that is and then do more of it!

So, where exactly is that?

First of all, your fun lies in the same spot as your true gifts & talents which means the clues will generally be located in these 3 places;

  1. Your Achievements and Successes

Typically, when we’re successful at something, it’s because we have a natural talent for it.

And this means that while it may have taken some hard work to get there, there’s also a good chance that you have a natural ability in that area.

So, what have been some of your greatest successes so far?

Or the achievements you’re most proud of?

And what did those bring out in you, or in other words, how did they allow you to ‘shine’?

  1. Your Personal Stories

Your personal stories are also one of the best ways to understand who you truly are and will point to what matters and inspires you the most.

These may be positive or negative and tend to be represented by some of the most memorable things that have had the greatest influence on you.

So, what have been some of the most important events, or people, in your life?

And how have these shaped who you’ve become today in a way which represents what you now believe in most strongly?

  1. Your Favourite Adventures

These are a bit more obvious are can be found in your favourite hobbies, or adventures, or things which you tend to reserve for ‘playtime’ only!

They will also reveal aspects of you which only tend to show up when you’re feeling more relaxed and enjoying yourself – versus managing the to-do list.

Or in other words, what do you LOVE to do simply for the pleasure of doing it?

And what does this bring out in you?

So, the next time you find yourself seeking a greater sense of ‘control’, try asking yourself if control is what you REALLY want i.e. a way to manage the pressure or if you’d rather relieve the pressure by seeking more of what truly fulfils and excites you!

Nicola x



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