The best question to ask when you’re feeling stuck

Most people are looking to move forwards in some way…

Whether that’s in your work-life, or your personal life, the challenge is to keep moving further towards whatever represents the next stage in the journey you’re on.

Because if you don’t, much the sensation of losing momentum while riding a bike if you don’t keep the peddles moving, until you can figure out where you want to go next it can be easy to wind up feeling stuck!

And feeling stuck, sucks…

And even though – on some level  – we know it’s part of the process, there’s a huge difference between feeling stuck and not knowing how to figure your way out, and feeling stuck with a clear sense of ‘where to from here…’

So, at these times it can be helpful to ask yourself, ‘Is it a question of SKILL, or WILL?

And here’s how it works…

Chances are it’s SKILL if you know what you need, but you need some extra help to get there.

This usually refers to something ‘practical’ such as something you can learn, or implement, or purchase such as a new system, or strategy, or tool, or skill, or approach.

For example, if I know I want to build a new house but I have no idea where to start I might begin by researching different design ideas, or ways to develop a clear set of plans, along with what else I need to consider in terms of the right kinds of permissions, materials, people to help me build it etc.

Whereas if it’s WILL then you’ll know you’re not happy with where you are now but you won’t really know what you want, or how to go about changing it i.e. all you know is that you want it to be different

So this usually refers to a change in ‘mindset’ and require some sort of a change in perception, or attitude, or belief.

For example, maybe I’ve been feeling like my current career is no longer ‘a fit’ and I’m feeling uninspired but I’m not sure what else I would do, or if it even exists.

Or maybe I’ve been struggling with my boss, or my partner, which is affecting my overall sense of happiness and while I’ve been trying to work it through, I still feel utterly powerless.

So, in this type of situation, what I really need is a perspective shift which will help me see how to move forwards in a way that offers me something I can’t currently see.

The point is that once you can clearly identify the type of help that you need, then you’ll at least have a new starting point which means you’re not stuck anymore because you now have a ‘next step’.

And just that slight change in momentum can begin to change everything because now you’ve at least created a space to start exploring again.

Which means that while issues related to WILL tend to be trickier to solve (because you’re generally starting from a place of ‘not knowing’) – if you can at least understand the nature of your stuck-ness, then you’re one-step closer to being able to solve it.

So, if lately you’ve found yourself feeling stuck in some way, then ask yourself this question and if it’s a matter of WILL, well that’s great news too because now you do at least ‘know’ that…and that suggest you’re not stuck anymore!

Nicola x



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