What’s the ‘one-thing’ holding you back?

Many of us might admit that we’d like something a little different, or more, in our lives

Maybe you’ve been following a particular pathway that no longer resonates and you want to move in a different direction.

Or perhaps you, or your goals, have changed and your current ‘way of working’ no longer fits with who you are.

Or maybe you’re still figuring out what you REALLY want…and you simply haven’t found your ‘thing’ yet.

Whatever the case, when you’re feeling a little lost, or off-track in some way, it can be easy to feel low on energy, or possibly even frustrated & overwhelmed.

These aren’t fun feelings, but they do serve a purpose because they point to the underlying story you’ve been telling yourself.

And within that story will be your very best ‘excuse’ for why you can’t do, or have, whatever it is you REALLY want.

Things like;

“I don’t know if it’s possible for me, or I don’t know how to find what I’m looking for, or my partner won’t approve, or I don’t have enough financial security to try something different, or what will they think of me….” etc.

But the good news is that right underneath your very best excuse lies the ‘one-thing’ that’s been holding you back.

So, how can you discover what that ‘one-thing’ is for you?

Well the good news is that even though you probably have some really convincing reasons as to why your particular excuse is the exception to the rule, I promise that if we were to dig a little deeper we would soon discover the ‘one-thing’ you’re telling yourself…that’s holding you back.

And this will generally come down to a thought you keep thinking…over and over…which overtime has become a belief!

But beliefs are not set or hard-wired within us – so you can change them at any time.

And the best way to uncover this belief is to ask yourself a few simple questions.

Questions like; ‘what is the biggest thing I am worried about in this situation?’, or ‘what would be my worst fear come true if I went for it and it didn’t work out?’

And you will undoubtedly come up with some really great answers…you know, the ones that usually stop you dead in your tracks i.e. your excuses!

But the trick is to take this one step further and ask yourself the real question; ‘so, if my worst fear came true…what would that say about me?’

And you’ll know when you’ve hit your ‘one-thing’ – because it will sting a bit…or feel super uncomfortable.

For me, that ‘one-thing’ which was holding me back from finally building my own successful business was feeling absolutely terrified of putting myself ‘out there’…because ‘what if I fail, or make a fool of myself, or discover I don’t have what it takes?’

And when I asked myself the deeper question, my deepest underlying fear was…’well, what if it turns out I have nothing of any real value to offer?’.

And when I took that one step further i.e. what would that say about me?

The answer came back that…‘I suppose that would mean that I myself have no real value and am not particularly unique, or special, in any way’.

And so of course that meant I just kept hiding behind others who I perceived did have something to offer…to keep myself safe.

So there it was…my own personal invitation to start showing up and in my own unique gifts & talents and that they would be of value to those that I serve.

And of course, the crazy thing was that what I did have to offer was a unique ability to clearly recognise other people’s magic so they could claim their own unique sense of purpose and feel inspired to make the changes they were seeking – in both their work & personal lives.

Overcoming my fear of ‘showing up’ is still a work in progress but if I hadn’t owned it, I’d have never built my business or been able to work with some of the amazing people I’ve since helped to bring more of their own inner-genius to-life!

And I still have that fear but the thing is that if you don’t own it first, then you will continue to find increasingly resourceful ways of going around it and behaving in precisely the way that will prevent you from getting wherever it is you want to go!

So, pull out a pen and paper and then gently (but honestly!) ask yourself a few questions; ‘what am I most afraid of in this situation i.e. what’s my worst-case scenario? and ‘what would that say about me and what would I have to believe about myself…if it were true?’.

And then once you’ve found that ‘one-thing’ that’s currently standing in your way, you will know exactly what to do, so you can get going again!

Good luck!

Nicola x

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