What’s the ‘one-thing’ holding you back?

Many of us might admit that we’d like something a little different, or more, for ourselves…

Maybe you’ve been following a particular pathway that no longer resonates and you want to move in a different direction.

Or perhaps you, or your goals, have changed and your current ‘way of working’ no longer fits with who you are.

Or maybe you’re still figuring out what it is you REALLY want…and you simply haven’t found ‘your-thing’ yet.

Whatever the case…when you’re feeling off-track in some way, it can be easy to feel low on energy, or possibly even frustrated & overwhelmed.

These aren’t fun feelings, but they do serve a purpose because they point to the underlying story you’ve been telling yourself.

And within that story will be your very best ‘excuse’ for why you can’t do whatever it is you REALLY want.

Things like;

“I don’t know if it’s possible for me, or I don’t know how to find what I’m looking for, or my partner won’t approve, or I don’t have enough financial security to try something different, or what will they think of me….” etc.

But the good news is that…right underneath your very best excuse lies that ‘one-thing’ that’s been holding you back.

So, how can you discover what that ‘one-thing’ might be for you?

Well the good news is that even though you probably have some really convincing reasons as to why your particular excuse is the exception to the rule, I promise that if we were to dig a little deeper we would soon discover whatever it is you’re telling yourself…that’s preventing you from doing what you really want.

And this is generally just a thought you keep thinking…over and over…which overtime has become a belief!

But beliefs are not set or hard-wired within us – so you actually can change them at any time.

And the best way to uncover this belief (so you can change it) is to ask yourself a few simple questions…

Questions like; ‘what is the biggest thing I am worried about in this situation?’, or ‘what would be my worst fear come true if I went for it and it didn’t work out?’

And you will undoubtedly come up with some great answers…you know; the ones that usually stop you dead in your tracks i.e. your excuses!

But the trick is to take this one step further and ask yourself the real question; ‘so, if my worst fear came true…what would that say about me?’

And you’ll know when you’ve hit your ‘one-thing’ – because it will sting a bit.

For me, that one-thing holding me back from finally stepping out and building my own business was feeling absolutely terrified of putting myself ‘out there’.

And when I asked myself those questions…my deepest underlying fear was ‘what if they realise I have nothing of any real value to offer?’.

And when I tool that one step further…well, that would mean that I must have no value…so I kept hiding behind others who did have something to offer to keep myself safe…ouch!

So there it was…my invitation to start showing up and trusting that my unique gifts & talents would be ‘enough’ and also of real value to those that I serve.

Overcoming my fear of ‘being seen’ is still a work in progress but if I hadn’t owned it, I’d never have built my business or been able to work with some of the amazing people I’ve helped to also recognise their own unique gifts and talents.

And guess what, I still have that fear but the thing is that if you don’t own it for yourself, then you will find increasingly resourceful ways of going around it and behaving in precisely the way that will prevent you from getting wherever it is you want to go!

So, pull out a pen and paper and find a nice quiet spot…and then gently (but honestly!) ask yourself a few questions; ’what am I most afraid of in this situation i.e. what’s my worst-case scenario? and ‘what would that say about me and what would I have to believe about myself…if it were true?’.

And then once you’ve found that ‘one-thing’ that’s currently standing in your way, you will know exactly what to do, so you can get going again!

Good luck!

Nicola x

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